Blog, Uncategorized

Why It Is So Hard To Accept Other’s People Weight Loss

It was only recently that new photos of Adele were revealed, depicting her radical body transformation. She had gone from a chubby little shy girl, with a voice of an angel and the unfortunate appearance of an anti-star, to a model-like image of a bitch femme fatale, that her only intention is to scold everyone around her every time she feels like it.

But it was surprising to see that the subject turned out to be quite controversial and people were contradictory in their assessment. It seems like it created some sort of chasm and uneasiness that isn’t that easy to articulate.

Some spoke of superficial standards and the incredible pressure modern society applies to individuals. Nobody can acclaim success unless he looks a certain way and has the shape of a Tic-tac-toe game in his belly. Poor celebrities are now forced into a situation they despise just to cover for these unfathomable body prototypes. How unfortunate. We put a strain around their neck and they have to comply with the meaningless standards we enforce, all the while they use their millions to swipe their tears…

The other objection heard most often is: “If you applause the body now, doesn’t that mean you were secretly judging it before?”

Yes, this is a pure declaration of ‘fatphobic feelings’ that you were hiding behind deceptive idealistic words, and they are now subtly manifesting by promoting her weight loss. The mere act of praising her is a pure indication of holding superficial standards and secretly adhering to the wrong ideas.

And as you hear all this, you scratch your head in bewilderment. How can the innocent act of supporting the aspirations of an individual, been perceived as the most malicious act since the Gestapo atrocities? Aren’t you supposed to applaud someone for trying to be healthier and more fit?

The Criteria Of Attractiveness

But healthy is not the issue here. Attractiveness is. Because supporting the change means that you make a public assertion for what is considered attractive and what is not. And by praising the thin, you condemn the fat. And that is not politically correct for the current societal standards we live in. Where you put your 5 cents is where you pointing a finger to its contrary.

But staying a bit in the superficial aspect of it, isn’t maintaining a strong healthy body an indication of a strong healthy mind as well? Isn’t the fact that you find the courage and strength to go to the gym and workout amidst the life chaos means anything? Even more so can we say that finding an outlet on food is an indication of emotional weakness and inability to harness your inner monkey as you please to, as you dive into the temporary pleasure losing sight of what is beneficial for you in the long run and what is gonna support you later on as you age?

Your Body Is Your Temple

There are many ramifications from taking care of your body and recognizing it as the temple it really is. It denotes you respect yourself enough to care for it and work hard to sustain it for the long run. And that is one of the underlying pillars on why caring for your health is attractive in its own respect.

Disregarding your body indicates you are not respecting yourself enough to work for it.

It’s that inner assessment that matters more than the superficial visual effect rather than anything else. As always our feelings compact a lengthy analysis in a small cube of wisdom.

“A healthy mind in a healthy body”

Ifyou ever happened to be one of the lucky few that tried to lose a big amount of weight at some point in their life, then you probably came face to face with a harsh realization. People in your environment don’t respond positively to your noble attempts. And I don’t mean people in the outer circle of your social life, the ones that you are not that close of anyway and are mere acquaintances. The circle includes your closest friends, maybe even family members and spouses. Most of the time you are going to encounter a feeling of uneasiness with every single person in your close peripheral which is gonna pose the question at you: “Aren’t they supposed to be in my side on this?”

When I encounter this strange behavior, I tried to rationalize it myself. Probably it reminds people of their fallbacks and weaknesses and this transformation of yours is a mirror pointing right back at them and their shortcomings. Whatever these may be.

Maybe by trying to improve yourself you are waking up these insecure feelings on where they stand in their life, and whether they should accept their position in the status quo of things or strive for something better.

But the key thing to realize on this is that this uneasiness is grooved into our psychology as a species. Throughout the years in human history, attractiveness and physical appearance was a key factor in your status in the hunter-gatherer societies and it wouldn’t be surprising to go up or down the pole depending on the way you looked. For a woman, it would be the main vehicle for escalating the hierarchy as in our history all other means were subtracted from them and they had to rely on a good match to move ahead. As harsh of reality as this may be, it set the ground for appearance to be a crucial factor for people’s standing. So how does this old-fashioned intricacy relates to the modern state of affairs?

Losing weight is a threat. A subconscious and concealed one shattering the finger to our standing and status. Our emotional machinery is outdated and shaped in a completely different society, which means we are stuck with it and we have to carry it around as we navigate the current world.

Weight loss is the equivalent of revolting in the prominent authority. You are asking for things to be reshuffled on what everybody’s position is. So don’t be surprised to find unwelcomed responses and unreasonable questions in your journey. Suppressing these kinds of restlessness is hard-wired into our patterns.

Photo by Amy Reed on Unsplash

Finding Your Own Creative Juices

In her book Mindset, Carol Dweck spoke about 2 kinds of mindsets and how people adopt them in various ways. The fixed versus the growth mindset. Two completely different glasses through which you can observe the world.

Growth mindset is seeing everything as a bit more fluid. It sits on the belief that people are carte blanche that can be anything they decide to be. There is nothing you cannot have and there is no target you cannot achieve if you strive hard enough. The world is a place full of opportunities for everyone and is up to the individual to strive for them in order to fulfill his unique potential.

Fulfilling your potential. This is where the difference lies with the 2 approaches. Because this view requires the perspective that things can change and you can improve not only your situation but yourself as well. It’s a more individualistic, maybe even more self-centered view if you will that says: “The world is your oyster” you can give it your best shot as you go through it as well.

Growth mindset is the romantic belief that you have a strong say in the situation you happened to be in.

Fixed mindset is the exact opposite belief that things are set in stone and you have to play with whatever cards you are dealt with. There is no much you can do with what you were given on and you have to endure with them all your life. It’s a pessimistic approach that you don’t have much to say on your talents or your given capabilities and you have to navigate a cruel world with what you have. That gives little space for the individual progress but opens you up for focusing more on the social aspect.

And how these 2 paradigms play out with the attitude towards weight loss? Assuming you are the person making this change, people with an intrinsic growth mindset are going to applaud you and people with a fixed mindset are going to be against you in a swirl of jealousy and maliciousness!

Those with the growth mindset do not believe in growth only for themselves, they believe it for everyone else as well. They hold the core understanding that everyone is out there to achieve the path he is into and every path is somewhat irrelevant to those of the others.

Fixed mindset people on the other hand do not focus so much on the individual noble aspirations of yours. They stay in the social status gaming level of things and their RAS(reticular activating system) hits with a swirling red alarm every time there is turmoil.

But it would be a huge mistake to think that this shows their true colors or that they don’t care for you. These things can and do co-exist as they are quite instinctual in their nature and come from millions of years of evolution. You just need to acknowledge the fact, smile, and keep on in the road you get on anyway…

0Tagged , , ,